Sunday, March 4, 2012

The Wait

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"Father God, it's September already, I just thought You should know."

Back then I would refer to my mental calendar as I counted the months left this year. "You've got four more months to answer my prayer...please?", trying my best to sound little bit more polite and a little less demanding. Of course, no matter how hard I tried to sound less like a spoiled brat, only God can see my heart - the very heart that ached and longed for my Mr. Right, my one true love, my husband.

I prayed to meet my husband (if I had not met him already) and asked God in faith that I meet and start dating my husband in 2011. I truly believe that God answers prayers and I've seen people's prayers answered positively almost right away. Surely, God will hear my prayer and do something miraculous in my life. God's timing is perfect. God is never too early, nor is He ever late.

Time check: it's already September and next thing you know, we're counting down to 2012. Tick tock.

Soon enough, the C.O.D. display in Greenhills would've been completed and it's Christmas time once again. "Father God, I don't think I can go through another Christmas season without a boyfriend, I don't even mind spending thousands on another gift just as long as it's for him".

I was both impatient and anxious. The season of waiting was excruciating. It was tiring and lonely, I felt like I was trapped in a cage that I could not get out of no matter how hard I shook it. I was beginning to doubt if God was really going to bless me with a husband and my heart was breaking.

I sat there with my tears and for the nth time I cried out to my Father how lonely I've been. "I just want to share my life with someone, my husband. Where is he and how come You haven't introduced us yet? Please, Father? I'm being good now, aren't I?" But deep in my heart I knew it wasn't about me being a good person. God's gifts are never earned because they are what they are, gifts, which are given in an appropriate time.

During my season of waiting, God answered me with peace as He turned my nighty tears to restful slumber. Tomorrow will be another day to ask Him.


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"Each day is a day closer to meeting my husband", I said to my friend Tine as I tried to convince myself that I can be patient, calm and less panicky. But who was I fooling? I wasn't patient and I was most certainly not calm. Like a duck in a pond, I was peaceful and still on water, but underwater, I was paddling like crazy. People were getting married left and right and almost all my friends who aren't are already in committed relationships. I hate being the third, fifth and seventh wheel. So again, I tried to convince myself that soon enough i will meet my husband, but then again, I knew that though each day is indeed closer to meeting him, there is more to that than simply waiting for him. God did not create us to sit down idly and wait for something good to happen in our lives, our lives are already good. But from now until the day we see Him, He wants us to live it beautifully with sincere enthusiasm, to live lives that bring glory to Him.

Having realized this, it was time to refocus my mind and heart and wait on God.


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Believe it or not, being single has its perks. If we look at it from a different perspective, we would see that it's a gift we should appreciate because we may never experience it again. Sometimes, I stop to thank God for these moments because I know that when I get married, these can only happen once in a blue moon-if I'm lucky. What are these perks you ask? Tons. Here are just a few:

It's the waking up and staying up late. Sure enough, once we're married with children, we'll hardly have the luxury of a long and uninterrupted sleep because our minds would be too busy thinking of running our households and our bodies too tired to even go to thespa and relax.

It's the peace and comfort we get from spending time with ourselves whether it's lazing about in our rooms, being a couch potato, watching tv show marathons or shopping for shoes. Being single can also mean enjoying the freedom from people demanding our attention everyday, depriving us of our much needed alone time.

It's the freedom to buy whatever we want, travel whenever and wherever we please and plan adventures that involve being away from home for long periods of time.

It's the opportunity to take risks like changing careers or putting up businesses. Not that married people can't take risks like these at all, it's that they are already accountable to their spouses and kids, which makes it difficult for them to take risks because they don't want their families to be affected when things go wrong. Being single makes it a little bit easier to take risks because we don't have to worry about anybody but us.

Once we're married, we are bound by the schedules and budgets of our households. It's not that our husbands and children won't allow us to do these things, it's just that most of us may feel that we can no longer do them for reasons that wives and mothers could only understand, that is, they would rather put their family's needs and wants before their own.

So thank God for the opportunity to enjoy the freedom to do the things your heart desires. God meant the single season to be enjoyed wisely so that when we become wives and mothers, there are no regrets, no what-ifs. I thank God for each time I realize it and I appreciate being single a little bit more.


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God has a reason for every season in our lives and whatever it may be, it only has one objective - preparation. Whether it's preparation for another season or for us to be more mature persons, God will always want His children to be prepared to face life courageously. Being single is an opportunity to prepare for our future lives because we are not distracted by external factors like, let's say, a boyfriend. Don't get me wrong, having a boyfriend is not a bad thing, and I know you'd even agree that many of our decisions were based on them, even when they shouldn't be. Even at times, we totally forget to put God in the picture that is why sometimes, we make the wrong decisions. God means for our single season to be a time of walking with God with more focused attention. If we listen carefully enough, we will learn many things that God wants to teach us as we walk towards our future.

Hearing is different from listening. Most of the time we hear but do not understand the message. Being single is an opportunity to hear because we have less distractions and our judgment a little more objective. If we open our eyes and ears wide enough our "life radar" becomes sharper. When we become more aware of things that matter in life, we learn and teach ourselves as we make mental notes of what is right and wrong. When we listen closely, we will learn that life is really meant to be lived wisely. Being single is our learning opportunity to be wise about life, preparing us for experiences that marriage will bring.

The single season is also an opportunity to test ourselves whether we're patient and mature enough to face the challenges of marriage and family life. Of course, we won't fully know how marriage is like until we are married but it's best to know how ready we are to face difficult and everyday challenges while we're still single and decide from there whether we are truly ready for marriage or we need to waita little bit more.


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It's already January 2012 and sadly, I didn't meet or date my husband in 2011. My heart was breaking days into the new year as I tried my best to believe that God will come through at the last minute but my husband was nowhere to be found. Do I think God didn't answer my prayer? I was tempted to but my heart knows that despite Him not answering my prayer in 2011, He is still great and I love Him because He is who He is. I feel humbled by the fact that it's not about my timeline, it's God's and He had His reasons that I will soon discover at an appointed time. So this 2012, I wait patiently and expectantly for my husband while trusting God's will for my life.


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I used to wonder if pilots flew planes the way chauffeurs drove cars and the answer is no, they don't. Pilots have autopilots safely and more efficiently fly the plane based on a highly advanced computer system that calculates and senses weather patterns and avoid collision. In short, the autopilot sees further than what the pilot can, which makes it capable of flying the plane safer and more smoothly. It goes the same as trusting God with our love lives, putting it on autopilot allows the only One who sees further into our hearts and our futures to steer us to the right direction, towards the right man. Think of the many times you've tried so hard to force something to happen only to backfire or lead you to make mistakes you otherwise wouldn't have made and pay for the consequences afterward. It's both painful and exhausting don't you think? Putting our love lives on autopilot allows us to enjoy life while we wait because we know that God who knows what's best for us is directing us to the right path where along the way, our husbands are waiting.


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When I watch "So You Think You Can Dance", I'm amazed at how these dancers move so effortless well. Whether they are dancing hip hop, ballet or interpretative dance numbers, I can't help but notice how graceful they are. Dancing gracefully is moving effortlessly and with nothing holding you back, it's self expression in motion. Waiting gracefully is a lot like dancing - it's living, I mean really living our lives. We don't wait for our lives to start when we meet our husbands, our lives have already started from the day we were born. Let's find ourselves and be ourselves, imagine and create, plan and fulfill, learn and share, love and be loved. Yes, our God-given husbands are waiting, but in the meantime, let's love this life we have and make the most of it.

Just as any season, the season of singleness will end, welcoming a new season that will bring new joys, new challenges and new memories. Surely, God will be as excited as us when we finally meet our husbands because we both know the journey was a long and challenging one. Soon enough, we will walk down the aisle, hand in hand with God towards the man He has chosen to entrust our lives and hearts to - our husbands. The moment we say "I do" will both be an end and a beginning of a chapter in the story of our lives that God lovingly authored. When this moment comes, I'm sure you'll be glad you truly waited.


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